I woke up with plans, as I imagine you did, unless you happen to be on vacation, in which case, congratulations! Take your watch off and be happy!
My first objective today was brewing coffee and consuming same, though you’ll be relieved to know I aspire to more than that. I’m also washing clothes, paying bills, and sitting here, writing.
Whatever the specifics, you and I have set our sights on what we think is important. You are in the middle of your pursuits and so am I. Maybe, like me, you wrote your plans down so that a) you could remember what they were once the coffee wore off, and b) so you could enjoy crossing them off as you accomplished them. Of course, you may be one of those truly impressive people who work off a mental list with inner focus. I’ve seen you – I know you’re out there.
The point is, however we do it, we aim for what we deem worthwhile. Clean clothes are worthwhile. Paid bills, ditto.
Having said that, there are some worthy goals that can’t be done in a day, goals which require a long view and sustained effort. There’s renovating a house, for example, or regaining health, mastering a skill, getting an education, raising a family. They take more than a day’s time – in some instances, even a lifetime. But we go after them because we see their value. The potential in the promise compels us to act.
I can’t help thinking: what about the difficult people in our lives? We all have them. (Hey, we may even be them.) The ones in congested traffic are one sort, the ones we work with are another, but I think by far the most painful ones are those under our own roofs or in our families. They’re the ones who have the most opportunity to bruise and demoralize, confuse and depress. They’re the ones that force us to confront what we really think about love, commitment, relationship.
In the words of singer-songwriter Sara Groves,
Friend, I know your heart is raw
But love is still a worthy cause
Sara’s right. Love is still a worthy goal. So in addition to my laundry and bills and writing today, I have another goal, that worthy goal. Love.
There are a couple dear, difficult people in my life, as I would bet you have in yours. And we want to love them, but it ain’t easy. When we’re puzzled and hurt by the latest pain, breathing hard, winded, our hands clamped over reopened wounds, what’s next? Will we retaliate? Shut down? Walk away?
We get to decide. We can’t not decide.
The Difficult Person has the same need of restoration and acceptance that we all have. Our lives have played out differently, and we have the scars to prove it, but we both fundamentally need love. They do. We do.
Picking up and pressing on
Oh love is still a worthy cause
“Push the rock,” a pastor friend advised. “I Corinthians 4:2 requires we be faithful. We have no control over what others do, but we can still check in periodically and push again. Do what you can to move that rock.” Maybe it means a letter, a phone call, an invitation to coffee. Maybe it’s a decision not to feed the pain and convert it to bitterness.
Like the touch that starts the thaw
Oh love is such a worthy cause
Or the word that breaks the long, hard pause
We need to hold out hope for one another, keep the light on, wait and work for peace. We’re in the middle of our stories, we must remember. How they end depends in no small measure on what we do today. Picking up and pressing on is easier when we remember how God and others forgive us as we ask.
And I love because He loved me when I had nothing
I had nothing
“Did you and Jack have any unfinished business?” another pastor friend asked me shortly Afterwards. Well, yes, there were a few small places we had dug our heels in and did not want to yield. Can’t go back and undo that, but I can learn from it as I list goals in this fresh day of life. I have today, this sacred now, in which to reflect on what I most want to accomplish. I want order and beauty in my house, yes, but even more in my relationships.
When you count the cost and all seems lost
Love is still a worthy cause
When you’re pressing one though your strength is gone
Love is still a worthy cause
Oh, love is still a worthy cause.
