I've started this entry a number of ways. I can't seem to focus. I have lots I've been thinking about, stuff I want to talk over with you, but when I shine a light on one piece in order to examine it more closely, that part evaporates. This was my brain. And this is my brain on grief -- rapped smartly against an immovable object, whisked around…
If I asked you to name five words that make your day, what would you say?How about, "My treat. You pick where." Or possibly better, "Who knew? It's calorie free!"Today I heard five words that cheered me, and they were these: "Do you have a vase?"Shortly after affirming that I did, indeed, have a vase, my doorbell rang. There stood my friend, with a bouquet of magnificent flowers in…
I have a dear friend who loves me and has many plans for my life. Thanks to her, I camped for the first time. This may not sound like a big deal unless you also know my whole life I'd regarded roughing it as having to go down the hall to the ice machine.At her urging, I was the lead car in a trek to the beach, which I assure you was a big…
Two months ago today, when this bus of Life we're all riding on braked unexpectedly to let Jack off at his stop, I know I was not the only one lurched off balance. Each one of you stood in some proximity to him. Now that shared space has been forever changed. These last two months, we have been helping one another get up and find new places to stand. Together we've been dusting off,…
When you were little, do you remember peeking through your fingers at the movies? The action would be picking up and you weren't quite sure if you wanted to see it all. So you peeked. You could see just a little bit, which was plenty, and you kept peeking until you got to a better place in the storyline. Peeking for me started the first week of January, when the…
A friend told me of the day her daddy died. She was 4 years old at the time, eating her chicken noodle soup, when she heard the devastating news. She sat over her bowl, tears sliding down her face, landing in her noodles. "Don't cry", she was told. "Don't cry." That lunch happened almost seven decades ago, but her memory is as vivid as ever. Her mom didn't…
I imagine all of us, at one time or another, have squinted into kaleidoscopes. They rank right up there with Slinkys and Silly Putty, am I right? Ahh, someone hand me a newspaper, let me recreate a childhood memory. Back to kaleidoscopes. Simple to operate: we hold the tube in one hand, put our eye to the viewfinder, and twist it with our other hand. First…
I'm starting this note at 3:30 - the time in my day when Jack typically called to say he was on his way home. We'd talk about what he'd built that day, the wood he'd used, how easy or hard it was to work with, how much glue he'd gotten on himself in the process. He'd describe the various procedures he'd followed in constructing a stringer, a horse, or…
I'm having real coffee this morning. Real coffee has always been the first order of business each new day ("decaf coffee" being a contradiction in terms, you see), but in these first weeks of Solo Living, I haven't always managed to pull it off. Earlier this week, for example, I ground the beans, measured the water, and shortly thereafter poured disappointingly hazy brown liquid into…
Rollercoasters. I think you either love them or you don't. Jack was one who did. Favorites included the ride that twirls like a corkscrew, the one that goes straight up and straight down, and even the one suspended over water that swings back and forth two or three times until it flips over entirely, slows a bit and starts again. And though I have never liked rollercoasters, nor…