I loved Jack, but I didn't love everything about him or everything about our marriage. There were disappointments along the way, places where I felt misunderstood, trapped, lonely, frustrated. There was what I thought marriage would be as we took our vows, and then there was what it actually turned out to be as our lifetime unfolded. In striving to be honest, it is important for me to acknowledge this. These days…
A girl I'd guess to be 4 or 5 just passed my house. She's in the company of someone I'd bet is her grandpa. As it's a picture-perfect day, sunny and clear, with low humidity, it's no surprise to note their pleasure at being out in it together. They're taking their time, pausing and conversing as they travel the stretch of sidewalk along the length of my home. Again and again…
I met a little girl who taught me a lesson for life. Her mom said I could tell you about her.At four years of age, Tina was afflicted with cancer. The bad news was that the kind she had was both rare and aggressive. The good news was that it was located in her right hand instead of her head, where such cancer usually grows, so it…
Snoopy, dressed as a wilderness scout guide, stands with Woodstock and company at the foot of a snowy hill. Everyone carries a backpack and canteen. The troops crane their necks, silently gazing wa-a-a-ay up as Snoopy informs them,"This is the hill we're going to climb." Obediently they fall into line and start trudging. Woodstock asks, "/ | \ \ /?" "Then what? Then we'll stand at the top,…
My four year old niece Tori was curled in my arms a few nights ago, her rhythmic breathing and contented presence a present in and of itself. Into our silence intruded a song, drifting in from the front room. It was my six year old niece, Tessa, sitting on the couch, singing to no one in particular. Dressed in black leotards, hair up like the…
As surely as Jack could find his way anywhere, I surely cannot. On the plus side, I don't mind asking for directions. But the hitch is that the help is only as good as the directions themselves. Probably the most maddening example of this, at least in recent memory, was the day I set out to join my soon-to-be daughter-in-law and her mom. I'd been invited to be part of a…
I'm writing today with my nose in a gardenia. My aunt picked this lovely flower for me from a bush by her home, little knowing it's a ticket straight back to the hot August afternoon I became a Wilson. Burying my nose in it triggers picture after picture in my mind's eye. We had planned for this day for months. Researched options, wrote lists, juggled errands. Rewrote lists and pressed…
Yesterday marked five months of learning to walk again. Babysteps, my friend calls them. I don't remember learning to walk when I was a kid, but I do remember watching my children learn. I held my breath as they reached out to the coffee table, hauled themselves up, stood, and bounced in place awhile before sitting down again. After a bit, a minute, a day, a week, it doesn't…
What I wanted was a fax machine.What I got was a diamond necklace. But for two weeks I could not let myself enjoy it! We had always been practical people. Our very first Christmas as a married couple, I had dreams of a tree with lots of presents under it for my new husband. I'd received a bonus from the little school I was teaching…
As I eased into consciousness this morning, a lovely plate of plastic corn and plastic chicken appeared at my elbow. It was served by my four-year old nephew, wearing football pjs and a smile that nearly split his face. He demonstrated that the chicken needed to be eaten with both hands, because when you eat it that way, you can turn it to see the…