The thing about digging out of a foot of snow is that you can't do it fast. No, you've lived long enough to know that some things take time, and this job is one of them. So you get your shovel and salt, as I did after a recent snowfall, and you get dressed in your warmest layers and sturdiest boots, so that you feel…
Recently I went to a superstore to replenish my stock of rock salt. They always carry everything - including the kitchen sink - but not this time. Here it is January, in the far, frozen north, with snowplows on the prowl, and aching backs everywhere you turn -and they were out of rock salt. On the bright side, they did have all the grass seed…
The township trucks rattle past my kitchen window these days, hauling last month's Christmas trees. There are displays of Slim-Fast at the front of every grocery store, while candy hearts wait their turn a few aisles in. It must be a new year. Time to go around the track again. I last checked in six weeks ago, on December 1st, when I reached the end…
I never did drugs growing up, unless you count coffee, not that I do. But while I never did drugs, I have been hooked on something else as controlling, and it is this heady premise: I can do it myself. I know you are all shocked to hear I was ever like this, knowing what you presently know of me, but yes, I really was an…
I was glad to be home after a whirlwind 24-hour getaway. It had included, among other things, a picnic lunch by a stream and setting marshmallows ablaze by bonfire. (Why? Is there another way to toast them?) I happily anticipated a hot shower to erase the traces of dirt and sweat and smoke. Standing lost in thought, suitcase on the floor, cats circling my feet…
"Well, so how is your husband?" asked a friend I hadn't seen in awhile. Taken off-guard, I stammered, "He died. He's dead. He got very sick quite suddenly and he passed away. Eight months ago today." But as I've had time to rethink it, I want another chance to answer, this time more accurately. Jack didn't pass away. He didn't. The real answer is that he is very much alive and…
My five year old niece stared unhappily at the handwriting task her mom had just assigned."I don't know why, but this just makes me feel like crying!"I totally get that, my nice niece. For you, it is handwriting. For me, it is paperwork. What my friend calls Yucky Papers. Under the best of circumstances, the most I hope for is a temporary truce with Yucky Papers. But I'm finding…
As Neil Sedaka might have sung on a morning like this, "Waking up is so hard to do." It's one of those days when I open my eyes and feel like a Mack truck hit me, and then backed up to see what it hit. A morning when the coffee can't be brewed fast enough. A morning when what I would really like is for someone…
Well, tomorrow marks seven months, and I'm not sure what to say about that, except that it is what it is. Other people along the road are months and years ahead of me, but I can't think too much about that because I'm not there yet. I'm at six months, thirty days and about fifteen minutes. That's the nature of grieving, as far as I can…
My son and his lovely bride gave me a gift this Christmas that was both for me and because of Jack: a Garmin GPS! It was the best gift for a person like me, who cannot always find my way out of a paper bag. As a matter of fact, all my life I have had anxiety about getting lost. This was an anxiety Jack did not share. He never…