My son and his lovely bride gave me a gift this Christmas that was both for me and because of Jack: a Garmin GPS! It was the best gift for a person like me, who cannot always find my way out of a paper bag. As a matter of fact, all my life I have had anxiety about getting lost. This was an anxiety Jack did not share. He never…
I loved Jack, but I didn't love everything about him or everything about our marriage. There were disappointments along the way, places where I felt misunderstood, trapped, lonely, frustrated. There was what I thought marriage would be as we took our vows, and then there was what it actually turned out to be as our lifetime unfolded. In striving to be honest, it is important for me to acknowledge this. These days…
A girl I'd guess to be 4 or 5 just passed my house. She's in the company of someone I'd bet is her grandpa. As it's a picture-perfect day, sunny and clear, with low humidity, it's no surprise to note their pleasure at being out in it together. They're taking their time, pausing and conversing as they travel the stretch of sidewalk along the length of my home. Again and again…
I met a little girl who taught me a lesson for life. Her mom said I could tell you about her.At four years of age, Tina was afflicted with cancer. The bad news was that the kind she had was both rare and aggressive. The good news was that it was located in her right hand instead of her head, where such cancer usually grows, so it…
Snoopy, dressed as a wilderness scout guide, stands with Woodstock and company at the foot of a snowy hill. Everyone carries a backpack and canteen. The troops crane their necks, silently gazing wa-a-a-ay up as Snoopy informs them,"This is the hill we're going to climb." Obediently they fall into line and start trudging. Woodstock asks, "/ | \ \ /?" "Then what? Then we'll stand at the top,…
My four year old niece Tori was curled in my arms a few nights ago, her rhythmic breathing and contented presence a present in and of itself. Into our silence intruded a song, drifting in from the front room. It was my six year old niece, Tessa, sitting on the couch, singing to no one in particular. Dressed in black leotards, hair up like the…
I took a few more baby steps this week. The first was that I erased a love note that's been scrawled in soap on my bathroom mirror since the first week of Jack's death. My lovely, aching sister-in-law Tina wrote it the first time she entered our home without Jack. Feeling the massive hole he left, she drew a big heart, and entered the sentiment "No…
Speaking of speaking, one question I've been asked is, "Do you mind me mentioning Jack? Or is it too painful?"The unequivocal answer for me is that I do not at ALL mind you mentioning Jack. As a matter of fact, I prefer that you do, since I am thinking about him much of the time anyway, and would enjoy your company. To me it means…
I wrote last time about writing. But let's say that you're like Jack, and writing really isn't your thing. You sign your name as needed, make shopping lists from time to time, but that's about the extent of it. As I say, Jack was like that. He had lots to say -- he just did not like to write any of it down. But he could speak, and so…
https://youtu.be/v6AU7kGbiDc I'm gonna wrap myself in paperI'm gonna daub myself with glueStick some stamps on top of my headI'm gonna mail myself to youI'm gonna tie me up in a red stringI'm gonna tie blue ribbons tooI'm gonna climb up in my mailboxI'm gonna mail myself to youWoody Guthrie's song makes me think about the way letters and cards, emails and packages, connect people like so…